The Flavors of Agency

How Crones Come Into our Own

There comes a time in most women’s lives when we pop out of every box society built for us. Life at the nexus of sexism and ageism is all about agency, which comes in many flavors.

The Agency of Voice: The whole “invisibility” thing is as much about voice as image. Society bids us be quiet just when we have plenty to say. And we say it alright (right here on Substack, for example). Old women should be neither seen nor heard? Not a chance.

Sexual Agency: Our culture pushes girls into sex, and women out of sex, in both cases before we are ready. Healing takes time; if we aged out of sexuality, we might never have that time. But of course we don’t age out of anything. Crone libidinal energy is powerful, however we choose to use it.

Appearance Agency: Consider the fashion industry and the politics of ripe women’s appearance. Not to mention the Diet Industrial Complex, which would love to make us its bitch. Fortunately, studies show older women are more, not less, pleased with our appearance. We shall not be fooled. We shall define beauty however we wish; plus we know that appearance is the least interesting thing about us.

Political Agency: Society tries to devalue older women just as we reach our greatest power. How is that working out? Did you look at the nationwide photos of No Kings Day? It was one big crone coven.

Creative Agency: The last few decades have been all about busting the barriers for older women creatives. Whether it’s the rise of independent publishing or the many gallery shows for older women artists, there are so many ways to create and to share our creations.

Economic Agency: Crone money agency is all about collective strength. What happens to older women if Social Security is ransacked to make the rich richer? Hint: There are a whole lot of us, and we vote.

The Agency of Longevity: Human biology values us. Unlike other female primates, women live long past menopause because our lives are essential to pass on wisdom, and to care for our collective young. Women’s old age blesses all humans.

Spiritual Agency: We are already one with everything, no path to enlightenment needed. And have you noticed how churches run on crone energy? So how about you: Are you ready to build your own mythology? The world needs new Crone Archetypes. Let’s do this thing.

Agency in Community: Whether we live in a Golden Girls household or intergenerational cohousing, whether we play pickle ball or co-write Seasoned Romance with our friends, we expand our agency when we band together.

That’s eight flavors, and I’m sure there are more ways we come into our own later in life. What am I forgetting? Leave a comment here, or email me at stella@stellafosse.com.

Rock on, Crones!

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